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Fish Jokes
Back to Fish Fun 

If you've got a good fishing joke, please send it to us and we will include it here with an acknowledgement.

Fish Bowl

Fish & Chips

Shark Bait

Teach a Man to Fish

Full Circle

Once upon a time...

Why Fishing is better than making love

The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid

Woman v's Game Warden

Fish Jokes For Kids  Click Here

 

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The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid

Three fishers were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisher said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare.

Then the second fisher said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisher was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisher said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

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Why fishing is better than making love:

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good.
If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to
still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.

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Once upon a time ....

The difference between a fairy tale and a fish story is a fairy tail begins, "Once upon a time..." and a fish story begins, " This ain't no bullshit..."

 

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Teach a Man to Fish

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

WOMENS VERSION:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish - and you've got the whole weekend to yourself.

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Fish and Chips

One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery.

A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk."

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Shark Bait

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."

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Women v's Game Warden

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn;
the wife preferred to read.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself,
"Is this guy blind or what?"

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to
take you in and write you up."

"If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the
irate woman.

"I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff.

"Yes, that's true... but you have all the equipment ..."


Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!
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